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Keeping your teen safe on the road |
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Written by Administrator
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Monday, 11 February 2008 |
For many parents, there are few milestones more harrowing in their child’s life as when that child begins driving. With road rage incidents cropping up all over the country and a new influx of digital devices turning normally safe drivers’ attention away from the road, your daily commute can be a huge source of stress- and that’s just for you. For a teen just starting out, it can be deadly.
We’ve all heard the statistics before: automobile accidents are the leading cause of death in teens; 16 year olds are more likely to die in an automobile accident than people of any other age… Not exactly what the parent of a newly licensed teen wants to hear, but rather than bury your head in the sand and hope it ‘isn’t my teen’ there are proactive steps that you as a parent can take to help keep your teen safe on the road- even if you can’t be in the car with him or her every time.
Preventing Teen Accidents- What You Can Do
What makes your teen getting his or her license so bittersweet is that while you can congratulate yourself on a teaching job well done, you no longer have an excuse to ride with your teen on every outing. This is especially challenging if your teen has his or her own vehicle and can come and go without your knowledge. You may have the urge to hide your teens set of keys so they cannot leave, but this will simply breed mistrust between you and your teen. After all- the DMV thinks your teen is responsible enough to operate a motor vehicle without your presence, so why shouldn’t you?
No, keeping your teen a prisoner in your home is not a practical solution to this complex problem. What is a practical solution is making sure your teen knows not just how to drive but how to be a responsible driver. This lesson, like many issues you and your teen will face starts with communication. Before your teen is even allowed to take his or her learner’s permit test, sit your teen down and draft some road rules together. Like many things in life you will need to go over these rules more than once in order for your teen to understand their severity and your seriousness over the situation.
If you are lucky, your state may already have some teen driving laws and restrictions in place that will likely make your job a lot easier. For more information, check your state’s DMV website or state homepage.
Rules of the Road
Thankfully, most roads are posted with speed limits, and if they’re not posted your teen should be aware how to figure out the limit based on information found in their state driver’s manual (which they probably got when they began studying for their learners permit). By your teen taking the wheel it is assumed he or she is familiar with the rules of the road. This is helpful for you as a parent because law enforcement officers can stop your teen for breaking these rules, so if you can’t be in the car with your teen driver there is still someone out there making sure they’re driving responsibility.
That being said, the police are not replacements for parents- their job is not to punish and watch your children specifically. To make your teen and everyone else on the road a lot safer, make sure your teen knows that it is imperative that they follow the rules of the road. If your teen is stopped for speeding or some other driving violation, you are well within your rights to take away their driving privileges indefinitely. Obviously there are some infractions which aren’t as severe as others- such as a burnt out headlight or another equipment offense, so make sure the punishment fits the crime. Still, teach your teen what to look for on the car before he or she takes it on the road. Do the lights work? The turn signals? Headlights? Wipers? Is there enough gas in the tank? It may also be helpful to teach your teen how to check and refill some basic fluids, such as windshield washer fluid, oil, and of course gasoline.
Curfews
Most likely your teen has a curfew whether he or she is licensed or not. But a driving curfew is not the same as a regular curfew. There are currently 28 states in the US that have driving curfew laws; most of these states require that teens under 18 be off the road by 12am, although New York requires teens to be off the road by 9pm. Whether or not your state has a mandatory curfew it is important you set a time for your teen that you feel is appropriate. Just because teens are allowed by the state to drive until midnight doesn’t mean you can’t set your teen’s curfew earlier. In fact, statistics have shown that teen accident rates go up after 10pm. Set a time that you and your teen can be comfortable with, provided it falls within state and local laws. Your teen may have nights where he or she must drive home from an after school job or athletic event later than usual, so be sure to allow him or her some leeway if this is an issue you may encounter.
Also, be sure to review the consequences of breaking curfew with your teen. Whether they are grounding, revocation of cell phone, internet or video gaming privileges, or taking away their license, you are the parent- you set the boundaries and be sure to stick to them.
Friend Restrictions
Obviously you can’t tell your teen who they can or cannot be friends with, but once your teen begins driving you can control whom your teen chooses to allow in his or her vehicle, and when. Peers who have suspected issues with substance abuse are obviously best left out of the car, as are teens that have been in their own trouble with driving in the past. A friend who has multiple tickets or reckless behavior can have a bigger influence on your teens driving than you or your teen might imagine.
If there is nobody that you wouldn’t want your teen driving with, you should still set some ground rules for friends in the car. There are 10 states with restrictions on how many teens can ride in one car driven by a teenage driver. This is because the more friends in your teen’s vehicle, the more distractions your teen must overcome. Up front, you may want to set a maximum number of passengers if any at all. This number can be contingent on your teen’s driving skills, e.g., if he or she can successfully operate the vehicle for 6 months to a year with no accidents or passengers, you may consider reevaluating your restrictions and allow him or her one passenger and see how that goes. If his or her driving does not get worse or more dangerous, no adjustments may be needed. However if your teen does end up with an accident or ticket while a passenger is present you can revoke his or her permission to drive with a passenger, among other things.
Digital Distractions
The statistics for accidents caused by drivers paying more attention to digital devices are startling. More than 80% of all accidents occur within three seconds of some sort of distraction- whether it is a cell phone, ipod, razor or taking a bite of food. This is why it’s imperative you talk to your teen and make sure he or she knows that when they’re behind the wheel, all they should be doing is driving. Many states are now enacting laws to ban drivers from talking on cell phones while driving. For those who must, headsets and Bluetooth earpieces can be a lifesaver, literally and figuratively. In the case of your teen, however, you may want to simply set a “no phone while driving” rule, because even though hands-free headsets or earpieces are a great help, they still are distracting, and for an inexperienced driver, that distraction may prove to be too much to contend with.
Drinking and Drugs
Most parents have already talked at length with their teens about the dangers of drinking and taking drugs, whether it is on the road or off. You may feel confident your teen would never drink or do drugs, but it’s a whole different ballgame when they’re on the road, and like most rules you set for your teen, bears repeating. Before you hand over the keys to your teen, make sure you’ve had a serious discussion about why it is not only dangerous to drink or take drugs, but why it’s so much more dangerous to do so while driving. This is also a great time to remind them to NEVER get into a car with a driver who has been drinking and/or taking drugs. Especially a younger drinker who is not only an inexperienced driver but probably does not know his or her alcohol limits, either. Let your teen know that if they have consumed alcohol or drugs that they should not worry about getting in trouble with you and call you to come get them. The consequences of his or her drug or alcohol use will not be anywhere as severe as they could be if he or she were to choose to drive home under the influence. Even more importantly, if your teen does call you to be his or her designated driver, don’t be a hypocrite. You can still follow through with a previously agreed upon punishment, but make sure your teen knows how proud you are of him or her for calling you, so if the situation ever occurs again he or she is not afraid to call you. If your teen feels betrayed for calling you the first time, he or she may prefer instead to ‘take their chances’ rather than deal with your disappointment or punishment.
Conclusion
These are just some basic guidelines. If you require more information, contact your local DMV, law enforcement, or driver’s education instructors. You may also want to check out the NSC website for some pointers, tips and further resources. |
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Last Updated ( Monday, 11 February 2008 )
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Read more...
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The Ultimate Resource for Parents |
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Written by Administrator
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Monday, 19 November 2007 |
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Extreme Parenting is designed to provide parents with a valuable information resource solution that supplies expert knowledge and insight on a variety of parent-teen issues.
Extreme Parenting hopes to become the premier database for unbiased parent information and education. We understand there are no simple answers when it comes to your child, so we offer specialized child knowledge and information while linking to other reputable resource bases.
The site is divided into several informative categories to help parents’ access information with ease. - The General Parenting Knowledge Category presents information on a variety of common teen and child issues, including teen health and education.
- The Resource Center offers background and contact information on various parent and teen help organizations. It also includes a parenting video section.
- The News Section features media articles and reports that offer breaking parent news.
- The Parent Advocate Section presents information on important parent advocates, like Pat Howey and Sue Scheff , who help promote education and communication in the parenting world.
- The last section features a sitemap and links to numerous parenting resources.
Extreme Parenting is dedicated to providing easy to use reference tools while constantly updating reputable sources that can help parents with their child rearing quandaries. For more information about our site’s goals, please read the Mission Statement.
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Last Updated ( Monday, 19 November 2007 )
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Mission Statement: Why our Knowledge Matters |
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Written by Web Master
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Monday, 19 November 2007 |
Children aren’t robots; they can’t be programmed to respond uniformly to given commands and they can’t always function obediently, but they can be nurtured. Nurturing may involve more work and stress for a parent then programming, but the benefits pay off because children who are programmed often suffer, and children who are nurtured often succeed.
When lacking proper guidance, teens can be swallowed up by the pressures of life while struggling to adjust to their new emotions and hormones. It’s our mission at Extreme Parenting to bring valuable information resources to parents who want the best for their kids as they navigate through these difficult times.
There’s no simple roadmap to raising a teen. Luckily, a massive collection of information and resources are available for parents to use, but it can often be difficult to discern the helpful from the useless. Extreme Parenting sifts through the plethora of knowledge floating in space and finds the information that will actually help you and your teen.
The greater knowledge base a parent accrues the better they will be at nurturing their child. Instead of simply telling your teen “no,” a parent should always explain “why.” When parents provide a factual or moral base for their rules it helps the child better understand their meaning and improves the overall relationship dynamic.
Teenagers are smarter than many parents think and they crave information and stimulation. If a parent is able provide interesting knowledge when faced with a child confrontation, then the child will learn their lessons quicker and will repeat mistakes less frequently.
When faced with a troubled teen, resist the urge to immediately send them off to some boarding school or wilderness camp . Use the information provided on this site to help nurture a communication based relationship instead. Parents form the most important connection their children will ever have, and this connection can save your kid’s life.
Please use the wide variety of parent resources and information available on this site to help foster a healthy relationship with your child. We hope that this site will show parents how to guide their children to adulthood properly and successfully. |
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Last Updated ( Monday, 19 November 2007 )
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